I met my adopted daughter when she was 9 months old, and that’s when she became part of our family. About 9.5 months later, I had my first biological baby, a little sister for her. After that, I had two more girls and a boy.
Here’s how I feel differently about my adopted daughter now that I’ve had biological kids:
I love her even more than I did before. I feel sad because I missed her first 9 months of life. Every time I got to enjoy a “first” with my biological babies, I thought about my adopted daughter’s “firsts” and wondered what they were like. It made me sad that I couldn’t be there for them. I also think a lot about how she got that little scar on her foot, a boo-boo I wasn’t there to kiss when it happened.
I also feel more connected to her birth mom. I imagine how hard it must have been for her to leave her baby at the hospital, wondering if she would be okay. And now, I get to experience all the things she will never get to with her daughter. Yet, I have the privilege of being her Mama.
It’s funny—out of all my kids, my adopted daughter looks the most different, but inside, we’re the most alike. I believe God brought us together, and I can’t imagine my life without her.
Every time we have a new sibling, my adopted daughter tries to explain to them that she grew in another woman’s body, not mine. They always argue with her about it. Even though she looks Asian and they are all white, my 6-year-old said yesterday, “Oh yeah. I always forget because you’re just my sister.”
So yes, things changed in our family with more kids, but it wasn’t because she’s adopted and they’re biological. It’s just because more people means more to adjust to. If I had to say if things got better or worse, I’d only say “better.”
This photo below is from this month. It’s funny because, just like in the old photo, the kids are positioned in the same order, child by child. I’m so grateful to God for every person in our family.
Posted by Rebecca Anne Chaney~
