In honor of Usman's consummate display of lyrical genius on this latest season of Hunt for Love, I figured I'd start a thread to collect all the theme songs that most befit the sordid cast of 90 Day Fiance characters that have continued to amaze, entertain, and disgust us going on over a decade now!
Try to keep the songs in Usmanic Pentameter ("I love you, I love you, I love you, baby Kassiddy! I love you, I love you, I love you, baby Kassiddy!") when possible but that's not mandatory. Also remember that many of these characters have appeared on many seasons and spinoffs (ughhhh fuck Libby and Loren) so they might have many different theme songs!
Also be on the look out for any Tell All hit singles!
Some theme songs off the top of my head:
Danielle: "You're a yuzer, you're a yuzer, you're a yuzer, baby Mohammit! You're a yuzer, you're a yuzer, you're a yuzer, baby Mohammit!"
Also Danielle: "I want my secks, I want my secks, I want my secks, tonight Mohammit! I want my secks, I want my secks, I want my secks, tonight Mohammit!"
Coltee: "Good morning, good morning, good morning my dick! Good morning, good morning, good morning my dick!"
Darcey: "Cut it on the bias, cut it on the bias, cut it on the bias, baby Silva! Cut it on the bias, cut it on the bias, cut it on the bias, baby Silva!"
Also Darcey: "I deserve love, I deserve love, I deserve love, it's my time! I deserve love, I deserve love, I deserve love, it's my time!"
Jesse: "You ruin everything, you ruin everything, you ruin everything, with your shoe! You ruin everything, you ruin everything, you ruin everything, with your shoe!"
Angela: "I can tote it, I can tote it, I can tote it, I just need ya egg! I can tote it, I can tote it, I can tote it, baby Mikhyul!"
Also Angela: "I'm an American, I'm an American, I'm an American, baby Mikhyul! I'm an American, I'm an American, I'm an American, baby Mikhyul!"
Gino: "Don't touch my hat, don't touch my hat, don't touch my hat, sugar baby Jasmine! Don't touch my hat, don't touch my hat, don't touch my hat, sugar baby Jasmine!"
Bilal: "This is a test, this is a test, and I'm a psycho, baby Shaeeda! This is a test, this is a test, and I'm a psycho, baby Shaeeda!"
Natalie (in full bug eyes): "You are low class, you are low class, you are low class, baby Mike! You are low class, you are low class, you are low class, baby Mike!"
Family Chantel: "Harvest the dollar, harvest the dollar, harvest the dollar, baby Pedro! Harvest the dollar, harvest the dollar, harvest the dollar, baby Pedro!"
Chantel: "You're a bitch-ass, slut-ass, whore, baby Nicole! You're a bitch-ass, slut-ass, whore, baby Nicole!"
Asuelo: "My boohole is hurting, my boohole is hurting, my boohole is hurting, baby Kalani! My boohole is hurting, my boohole is hurting, my boohole is hurting, baby Kalani!"
Larissa: "Who is against the queen, Who is against the queen, Who is against the queen, will die Coltee! Who is against the queen, Who is against the queen, Who is against the queen, will die Coltee!"
Also Larissa: "Coltee is a bitch, Coltee is a bitch, Coltee is a bitch, a biggie bitch! Coltee is a bitch, Coltee is a bitch, Coltee is a bitch, a biggie bitch!"
Azan: "Almost there, almost there, almost there, lazy Nicole! Almost there, almost there, almost there, lazy Nicole!"
Ronald: "Mah boi, mah boi, mah boi, baby Daniel! Mah boi mah boi mah boi baby Tiffany!"
David: "Mmmmmmmmm, mmmmmmmmm, mmmmmmmmm, baby Lana! Mmmmmmmmm, mmmmmmmmm, mmmmmmmmm, baby…" (he passed out from the liquor in the record studio before he could finish his song)
Andrei: "Ask your father, ask your father, ask your father, for the money! Ask your father, ask your father, ask your father, for the money!"
Paul: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry baby Karine! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry baby Karine!"
Also Paul: "It's poo water, it's poo water, it's poo water, baby Karine! It's poo water, it's poo water, it's poo water, baby Karine!"
Jihoon: "I so sorry, I so sorry, I so sorry, baby Deavon! I so sorry, I so sorry, I so sorry, baby Deavon!"
Also Jihoon: "My family anal, my family anal, my family anal, so clean, so clean! My family anal, my family anal, my family anal, so clean, so clean!"
The entire cast (in chorus): "I'm done, I'm done, I'm done, baby Sharp! I'm done, I'm done, I'm done, baby Sharp!"
Sharp Entertainment: "Money, money, money… MONEY!!! $$$"